Oh god, my face!

Today I went to get passport photos taken.  It’s been a long time since I was in one of those little photo booths with the curtain and the spinny stool.  Here’s what went through my mind, in order:

1. You’re not allowed to smile.  Smiling’s my favourite!

2. The first time I use this new passport will be on a surprise holiday that my boyfriend has booked for my birthday; therefore the likelihood of me not smiling is minimal.
3. I now desperately want to watch Amelie.

4. There is no facility to add any kind of Snapchat/Instagram filter, and as such this is the first time I have seen my actual face in ages. I definitely prefer it when I have unnaturally large eyes and augmented rabbit ears.

5. Tomorrow I will treat myself to some anti-wrinkle cream.

6. I was just in Boots – why on earth didn’t I pick up anti-wrinkle cream while I was in there?

7. Apparently pink shampoo is very distracting. And only £2.99. Bargain…

8. If anti-wrinkle cream works why do I still have finger prints?



Yes, I know I’m a few days late with this one. This was a design I did January 2015 – the year the entire world expected to see Hoverboards gliding over the ground (and water, but only if you have a Pitbull). Pencil on tracing paper (how I always design my tattoos)

Hoverboard pencil sketch

2015 – the year of the Hoverboard? Sadly not

New Year, new me, and all that b*****it

January 1st, 2017. It’s raining hard. It’s almost lunchtime and I’m still in bed, contemplating how I will change my life for the better with a few carefully selected New Year Resolutions.  

I’m deliberately not starting today though.  Historically I’ve failed miserably at sticking to my new year goals (my personal record is breaking all 3 by New Years Day) and miserably is always how I’ve started each subsequent year. Whether I’m partying hard and downing Tequila shots or curled up on the sofa watching the fireworks from the safety of the living room I always find New Years Eve a particularly depressing time. What did I not accomplish last year? What will I probably fail at next year? What has everybody else achieved that I still haven’t yet managed to?  And then to make matters worse I set myself a ridiculously far fetched goal which I’m then doomed to fail….and so it continues.  

But not this year – this year I’ve found myself feeling surprisingly determined. I’m not sure where it has come from exactly. Maybe because 2016 has been so hellish (at least that’s what social media has told us). It has been pretty bad I guess (Brexit, Trump, childhood idols passing etc) but it hasn’t all been doom and gloom. My sister got married this year. I’ve never had plans to get married myself – I’ve never seen the point – but watching that happen and being part of it made me realise exactly why people do it, and how lucky I am to have found The One. We also got a kitten this year, something I have always dreamed of, and right now he’s curled up at my feet, dreaming of….food probably.

Back to the determined me (she says, still in bed at noon).  My plan this year is to set teeny tiny goals for myself – but lots of them. Really small things like ‘stretch for 5 minutes every morning’. If I tick off everything on the list every day for 30 days, I’m going to treat myself to some Black Milk leggings. They’re ridiculously cool and very expensive (compared to what I normally pay for Lycra leggings anyway) but if I keep this up I’ll have earned them. 

One other goal is to update my blog daily, so you can expect to see more from me. Some days it might be a small check-in, other days it could be something more substantial, with step-by-step pictures and maybe even a video….

I’m deliberately not starting today though, as one thing on this list is to only drink water for 30 days, and a breakfast like this isn’t completely without a coffee and an orange juice. Today is a day for relaxation, contemplation, and making a list of all the ways I can armour myself ready for the year ahead. 2017? Bring it on…..

Missing: Have You Seen This Nail?

Knowing full well that October 4th is #NationalCatDay I decided to play around with some feline-inspired nail art, so that I could treat you to several cat-themed nail designs on the day. Because I’m nice like that. And mostly because I like cats.

I started off with a soft lilac base, then added black cat tips. It looked great. Slightly Rockabilly or Halloweeny (I could picture several outfits in Blue Banana that would have coordinated beautifully). It was too late in the evening to finish with a top coat (I didn’t want to climb into bed and destroy my handiwork) so I made the executive decision to save the picture-taking to the following day.

The following day

I was in the shower, like I am every morning, and this is when disaster struck. I slipped with the razor. Don’t ask me how – I’m still trying to work out exactly how I managed to do this. I hadn’t nicked my knee or sliced my shin; I had managed to carve a deep gash right through the centre of my fingernail. RIGHT THROUGH THE FINGERNAIL I HAD PAINTED CATS ON AND SUBSEQUENTLY NOT PHOTOGRAPHED. It was instant trauma, and I yelped loudly in pain the second it happened. Simon rushed in like a hero but at that moment I couldn’t decide which was worse; the pain and blood pulsating from my finger, or the fact I hadn’t taken a photo of my bloody nails, and now wouldn’t be able to for some time. 

To add insult to injury (and it really was an injury) it happened to my left hand, which was of course painted by my much neater right. Typical…

I may be quiet on the nail art side of things while my finger heals (and my nail grows back) so for now you will have to make do with more arts, crafts and edible makes. At least I can still celebrate #NationalCatDay with some kickass Hello Kitty plasters!

Flying Tiger, Hidden Goodies

Flying Tiger surprise bag

Surprise! My goodie bag haul from Flying Tiger

I’ve been very quiet on the blog front over the last couple of months, partly due to a particular project I’ve been working on for a certain wedding!  I’ve now got some more time on my hands, plus lots of pictures of my latest shortbread endeavours to upload, so in every sense I am back.  But before I get stuck in to painting my nails etc. here’s my latest blog-worthy purchase, from one of my all-time favourite shops for ‘stuff’, Flying Tiger.   Continue reading

MY DETOX HELL (a.k.a. Day 1)

I’m less than 24 hours in to my hardcore 7 day detox, and already I’m feeling the heat.  I have also come to the conclusion that I must be addicted to chocolate.  Like, actually addicted.  Not just in the giggly ‘Ooooh, I had half a Mars bar at lunch, I’m a total chocoholic!’ sense, I mean I am fully dependent on chocolate.  It is hard-wired into my brain that chocolate is an essential food group, and giving it up has left me feeling like a crack-addict going cold turkey.  Probably. (I’ve never actually experimented with hardcore drugs (I was far too shy for that sort of thing as a student) but I’ve seen enough Channel 4 documentaries  and Irvine Welsh films to know that it is a pretty bad thing)


I can also tolerate much more chocolate than a normal person.  Much, much more.  In fact my blood type is O which stands for “Oh my god, your blood has been tested and the results are 20% cocoa solids, how are you alive!?”.  This is clearly inherited through my father’s side of the family, as Dad is also one hell of a chocolate fiend (he also makes a killer chocolate mousse).  We both have a penchant for bitter, dark chocolate too; the real chocolate for dedicate cocoa-lovers.  Because Dairy Milk just doesn’t give you the fix you need.  Because Galaxy is for pussies.  Chilli chocolate has always been a favourite of ours, which reminds me I need to post my ‘Darth Naga’ dark chocolate chilli milkshake soon….

Why am I talking about chocolate?!?  Oh my god!  This is why I’m so irritable and shaky (and hungry) because chocolate is as important to me as air.  Wish me luck – the next 6 days are going to be brutal….