MY DETOX HELL (a.k.a. Day 1)

I’m less than 24 hours in to my hardcore 7 day detox, and already I’m feeling the heat.  I have also come to the conclusion that I must be addicted to chocolate.  Like, actually addicted.  Not just in the giggly ‘Ooooh, I had half a Mars bar at lunch, I’m a total chocoholic!’ sense, I mean I am fully dependent on chocolate.  It is hard-wired into my brain that chocolate is an essential food group, and giving it up has left me feeling like a crack-addict going cold turkey.  Probably. (I’ve never actually experimented with hardcore drugs (I was far too shy for that sort of thing as a student) but I’ve seen enough Channel 4 documentaries  and Irvine Welsh films to know that it is a pretty bad thing)


I can also tolerate much more chocolate than a normal person.  Much, much more.  In fact my blood type is O which stands for “Oh my god, your blood has been tested and the results are 20% cocoa solids, how are you alive!?”.  This is clearly inherited through my father’s side of the family, as Dad is also one hell of a chocolate fiend (he also makes a killer chocolate mousse).  We both have a penchant for bitter, dark chocolate too; the real chocolate for dedicate cocoa-lovers.  Because Dairy Milk just doesn’t give you the fix you need.  Because Galaxy is for pussies.  Chilli chocolate has always been a favourite of ours, which reminds me I need to post my ‘Darth Naga’ dark chocolate chilli milkshake soon….

Why am I talking about chocolate?!?  Oh my god!  This is why I’m so irritable and shaky (and hungry) because chocolate is as important to me as air.  Wish me luck – the next 6 days are going to be brutal….


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